Happiness is...

Right now happiness is a tall glass of iced tea that I got instead of the ice cold Diet Coke that I really meant to get. Healthier choices are just jumping up and taking over my life.

I was feeling kind of down yesterday. Sometimes getting back into strict-adherence-to-our-budget mode does that to me. Since we were headed to Jackson for violin lessons and groceries I decided to stop in at Barnes and Noble and I picked up this:

The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. And, yes, it was in my budget. I have a place for books in there. Usually the money goes for school books, but sometimes I get one just for me. But I digress.

I am pretty sure I first heard about this book on Ali Edwards' blog a year or more ago. Ms. Rubin wrote the book, not because she was unhappy, but because she wasn't as happy as she should be. Having a wonderful life she still found herself easily dejected and irritable, 'suffering from bouts of melancholy, insecurity, listlessness, and free-floating guilt.' She wasn't depressed and wasn't having a mid-life crisis, but was, in her words 'suffering from mid-life malaise -- a recurrent sense of discontent and almost a feeling of disbelief.'

That is so how I feel lately.

I am happy. (Did you read that, my big children.? I really AM happy. No cause for concern here. Okay? Okay.) I have a wonderful life. But sometimes I feel like I am watching it all go by in a detached, unconnected way. Rubin quotes the writer Collette who said, "What a wonderful life I've had! I only wish I'd realized it sooner!"

I want to realize it NOW. I want to be very present in the moment. I want to realize I am happy in the moment, not just when I think back on the moment.

So this morning I did something that makes me happy. I went out into the freezing cold and filled all my bird feeders. Then I just stood there, listening to all the sweet bird songs around me. Passing by one feeder on my way to put the seed bucket back in the shop, a startled bird flew up next to my head. The sound of birds wings is so uplifting. I breathed deep the cold, freshness of the air and thanked God for this moment.

Then I went inside to thaw out. We are 'supposed' to be getting 3 to 6 inches of snow here in central Mississippi later tonight, so when I say it is cold, it really is COLD.

Here is one more thing that is making me happy this morning.

Mmmm. A yummy smelling warm apple pie candle. Get one for yourself at Wal-Mart and feel happy.